Genesis Deeper ㊹ We Are Brothers · Abram Was Promised the Land, So Why Did He Let His Nephew Choose First? (Genesis 13:1~9)
This series takes one Bible passage at a time and looks at it a little more closely. The images are free to use in worship, in class, and on social media.
Abram went up out of Egypt, he, his wife, all that he had, and Lot with him, into the South. Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver, and in gold. He went on his journeys from the South even to Bethel, to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai, to the place of the altar, which he had made there at the first. There Abram called on Yahweh’s name. Lot also, who went with Abram, had flocks, herds, and tents. The land was not able to bear them, that they might live together; for their substance was great, so that they could not live together. There was strife between the herdsmen of Abram’s livestock and the herdsmen of Lot’s livestock. The Canaanites and the Perizzites lived in the land at that time. Abram said to Lot, “Please, let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen; for we are relatives. Isn’t the whole land before you? Please separate yourself from me. If you go to the left hand, then I will go to the right. Or if you go to the right hand, then I will go to the left.”
Genesis 13:1~9 (World English Bible)
1. The Road Back, Rich
In the passage just before this one, Abram went down to Egypt to escape a famine. There he introduced his wife Sarai as his sister, and Sarai was taken into the palace of Pharaoh, the king of Egypt. When God struck Pharaoh’s house with plagues, Pharaoh sent Sarai back and had Abram and his household escorted out of Egypt (12:10~20).
Today’s passage picks up right after that. Its first sentence is “Abram went up out of Egypt … into the South” (13:1). ‘The South’ is the Negev, the dry land at the southern edge of Canaan. In that earlier passage, Abram went ‘down’ into Egypt (12:10). Now he comes ‘up’ out of it. But the Abram who comes back is not the same as the one who left. The very next sentence says, “Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver, and in gold” (13:2). Some of that wealth was the sheep, cattle, donkeys, and camels Pharaoh had given Abram in Egypt because of Sarai (12:16).
From the South, Abram travels north again. The passage tells us quite carefully where he goes. It is the spot between two towns, Bethel and Ai, ‘where his tent had been at the beginning,’ ‘the place of the altar, which he had made there at the first’ (13:3~4). Yahweh is the personal name of God in the Old Testament. This is the very place where, before he went down to Egypt, Abram had built an altar to Yahweh and called on Yahweh’s name (12:8). The passage records what Abram did there once more: “…There Abram called on Yahweh’s name” (13:4).
Then trouble comes. Abram’s nephew Lot, who traveled with him, also had many flocks, herds, and tents. The two households had so many animals that the land could not hold them both in one place. The passage gives the reason plainly: “…their substance was great, so that they could not live together” (13:6). In the end, Abram’s herdsmen and Lot’s herdsmen begin to quarrel.
Facing that quarrel, Abram speaks to Lot: “…Please, let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen; for we are relatives” (13:8). Then he makes a surprising offer: “Isn’t the whole land before you? Please separate yourself from me. If you go to the left hand, then I will go to the right. Or if you go to the right hand, then I will go to the left” (13:9). In plain words: ‘The whole land lies open in front of you. Let’s live apart. If you take the left side, I’ll go right. If you take the right side, I’ll go left.’ Abram gave his nephew the first choice.
2. It Was the Promised Land, So Why Let His Nephew Choose?
Usually, when a family divides something up, the elder chooses first. Abram is Lot’s uncle, and Lot is the one who came along on Abram’s journey (12:4). On top of that, this land is special. It is the land God promised when he appeared to Abram and said, “…I will give this land to your offspring…” (12:7).
So readers stop and wonder at this scene. Abram is the one who received the promise, yet Lot gets to choose. What if Lot picked the best part of Canaan? What would happen to God’s promise then? Was Abram too naive, or was he simply a kind-hearted uncle?
If we read this only as the story of ‘a nice person who gave way,’ the question stops there. But the passage lets Abram give his reason in his own words. And it also records where Abram had just been before he said it.
3. A Little Deeper · ‘We Are Brothers,’ and the Altar He Visited First
Here is the answer first. The one reason Abram gave was ‘we are brothers.’ For him, stopping the strife between brothers came before taking the best land. And the passage tells us that just before he said this, he had gone back to the place where he had built an altar before, and there he had called on Yahweh’s name again. The land was not something Abram would win by holding on to it. It was something God had said ‘I will give.’ So Abram could give up the first choice without losing the promise.
First, look at the reason Abram himself gave. The World English Bible translates it “for we are relatives.” The Old Testament was first written in Hebrew, and in Hebrew the words are ‘we are men, brothers.’ In fact, Lot is not Abram’s brother but his nephew. The passage itself called Lot ‘his brother’s son’ earlier (12:5). Yet Abram calls Lot a brother. In a place where a quarrel had broken out over land and animals, the first thing Abram named was what the two of them were to each other.
How unusual these words are becomes clear when we set them beside Abram’s earlier words. Before today’s passage, the Bible records Abram speaking only once. It was in the passage just before this one, as he was about to enter Egypt, when he spoke to Sarai: “Please say that you are my sister, that it may be well with me for your sake, and that my soul may live because of you” (12:13). At the center of those words was ‘me.’ It was about things going well for me and my life being spared. The second time Abram speaks, in today’s passage, is different. He names the two of them together, ‘between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen,’ and ends with ‘we are brothers.’
The passage does not tell us what Abram came to understand in between. But it does record one thing that happened between those two speeches. Abram came up out of Egypt, went all the way to ‘the place of the altar, which he had made there at the first,’ and called on Yahweh’s name there. The passage puts it this way: “…There Abram called on Yahweh’s name” (13:4). In the Egypt story just before, there is no altar and no calling on Yahweh’s name, not even once. This is where that comes back, and the quarrel begins only after it.
There is one more sentence worth noticing. In the very verse that says the herdsmen quarreled, the passage adds: “…The Canaanites and the Perizzites lived in the land at that time” (13:7). The Canaanites and the Perizzites were peoples who had already settled in that land. So the pastures the two households were fighting over did not yet belong to Abram or to Lot. If Abram was ever going to have that land, it would not be because his herdsmen won it in a quarrel, but because God gave it as he had promised (12:7).
So when Abram handed the first choice to Lot, he was not letting go of the promise. In fact, after Lot left, God spoke to Abram again and repeated the promise: “for all the land which you see, I will give to you, and to your offspring forever” (13:15). Whatever Lot chose, the promise stayed the same.
Here is how the opening question is answered. It was not naivety, and not simple kindness, that made Abram let his nephew choose first. The reason the passage records is ‘we are brothers.’ And those words came after he had gone back to the place where he had built an altar before, and there had called on Yahweh’s name again. The land was not something to fight over and grab. It was something God gives. So Abram could hand the first choice to Lot and still not lose the promise. When food was scarce, Abram’s words were about himself: ‘that it may be well with me … that my soul may live.’ Now, facing a quarrel born of plenty, his words came to rest on ‘we are brothers.’
4. Word Study · Heavy · Strife · Brothers · Separate
Let’s look at four key ideas in today’s passage and the Hebrew words behind them.
① Heavy · kaved (כָּבֵד). This is the word behind ‘very rich’ in “Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver, and in gold” (13:2). Its basic meaning is ‘heavy.’ Word for word, the sentence says ‘Abram was very heavy with livestock, silver, and gold.’ The same word appeared in the passage just before this one. In 12:10, which tells why Abram went down to Egypt, “…for the famine was severe in the land,” the word ‘severe’ is the same word. The World English Bible translates it as ‘severe’ in one place and ‘rich’ in the other. But in Hebrew, a man who went down because the famine was ‘heavy’ comes back up a man who is ‘heavy’ with wealth. In Genesis, this word appears in nine places: eight times exactly as it is here, and once with the small Hebrew word for ‘and’ joined to its front (50:10). Five times it describes famine. Three times it describes the great funeral procession for Jacob and its grief (50:9~11). Only once is it used of a single person: Abram, in today’s passage. The lack was heavy, and the plenty was heavy too. Today’s quarrel begins with the weight of that plenty.
② Strife · riv (רִיב) and merivah (מְרִיבָה). In “There was strife between the herdsmen…” (13:7), ‘strife’ is riv. When Abram says, “…Please, let there be no strife between you and me…” (13:8), ‘strife’ is merivah. Merivah comes from the same word as riv. Both mean a quarrel or a dispute. In all of Genesis, each of these two nouns appears only once: riv in 13:7 and merivah in 13:8. Later, when Isaac’s herdsmen quarrel over wells in chapter 26, the same word shows up again, but there it is used as a verb, ‘argued,’ not as the noun ‘strife.’ Notice, too, that the passage does not say a word about who started the strife or whose fault was greater. Abram does not ask about that either. He does not argue about who is right. He asks that the strife itself stop.
③ Brothers · achim (אַחִים). This is the word behind ‘relatives’ in “for we are relatives” (13:8). The basic form is ‘ach’ (brother), and achim means more than one, ‘brothers.’ In Hebrew, this word is used not only for brothers by birth but also for close relatives, which is why the World English Bible translates it ‘relatives.’ Still, the word Abram chose was not ‘brother’s son’ (the words the passage used in 12:5) but ‘brothers.’ Instead of a word that ranks one above the other, he chose a word for people who stand side by side. That is why, in today’s passage, this word sits at the heart of Abram’s plea to end the strife.
④ Separate · hippared (הִפָּרֶד). This is the word behind “…Please separate yourself from me…” (13:9). Its basic meaning is ‘to be parted’ or ‘to be divided.’ In Genesis, this word is used when something that was one becomes many. The river that flowed out of Eden “…was parted, and became the source of four rivers” (2:10). After the flood, from Noah’s sons, “…The nations divided from these in the earth after the flood” (10:32). In today’s story, Abram brings up this word in verse 9. It continues in verse 11, “…they separated themselves the one from the other,” and in verse 14, “…after Lot was separated from him…” Abram did not hide the fact that they could no longer live together. But he did not propose a parting where people turn their backs in the middle of a fight. He proposed a parting where they first call each other brothers and then go different ways.
5. One More Thing · Still ‘Brother’ After the Parting
Was Abram’s ‘we are brothers’ just something he said once to calm things down? If we follow the story a little further, we can see that it was not.
In the end, Lot chooses the land of the Jordan to the east and leaves, moving his tent as far as Sodom (13:11~12). Then, in the very next chapter, disaster strikes. Several kings attack Sodom, capture Lot, and carry off his goods as well (14:12). When Abram hears the news, he leads out three hundred eighteen trained men who were born in his own household. He chases the enemy all the way to Dan, a place at the far northern end of the land. The Bible says, “When Abram heard that his relative was taken captive…” (14:14).
The word translated ‘his relative’ here is, in Hebrew, ‘his brother.’ In verse 16, where Abram brings Lot back, “…his relative, Lot…” is also, in Hebrew, ‘his brother Lot.’ The World English Bible lets us see this shift even in English. In 12:5 and 14:12, the passage calls Lot exactly what he is, ‘his brother’s son,’ that is, his nephew. But in the part where Abram rushes to rescue him, it calls him ‘his relative,’ and behind that word is the same Hebrew word, ‘brother,’ that Abram used for Lot in 13:8.
The two men had parted. They lived in different places, and Lot had chosen a different road from Abram. Yet the word ‘brother’ did not end. The name ‘brother’ that Abram called Lot before they parted is the name the passage uses again when Abram goes after him. And Abram runs to the far north to rescue that brother. This backs up the answer we found earlier. What Abram gave up was the first choice, not his brother.
6. For Us Today
This passage leaves us with one message. Where plenty had turned into strife, Abram, before arguing about who was right, first named what they were to each other: ‘We are brothers.’
If we look at the passage again, we see that Abram did not ask which herdsmen were at fault. He did not point out that he was the uncle, or that he was the one who had received the promise. The first thing he said was what the two of them were to each other. Only after that did he talk about how to divide the land.
Just as the strife between Abram and Lot came not when they had too little but when they had too much, the quarrels we face often begin when things have become plentiful. Siblings can grow sharp with each other over the house and belongings their parents left behind. When a shop started with a friend begins to do well, hurt feelings can build up over who worked harder. At work, a team can achieve something good together, and then things grow awkward over who deserves the credit. At times like that, a voice inside says, ‘This time, shouldn’t I make sure I get my share?’
Abram, too, had more than enough reasons to claim his share first. He was the elder, he had received the promise, and he was rich. But what the passage records before the quarrel is that he went back to the place where he had built an altar before, and there called on Yahweh’s name again. And facing the quarrel, he called Lot his brother.
We can draw one more comfort from this passage. After Abram gave up the first choice, God’s promise remained just as it was (13:15). And his bond with Lot was not cut off either. Later, when Lot was in trouble, the Bible says Abram rushed to rescue ‘his brother.’ Of course, there are days when giving way first seems to leave us with nothing but loss. There are days when the other person does not understand what we did. Even on those days, the name ‘we’ that we spoke first can become a place to return to someday.
If dividing something with someone is weighing on your heart right now, it might help, before you start the conversation about shares, to write one sentence about what that person and you are to each other. ‘We are siblings who have shared twenty years.’ ‘We are friends who started this shop together.’ If you hold that one sentence in your heart as you go into the conversation, it may become a little easier to find words that let you talk about shares without losing the person.
“God who keeps what you have promised, you know how our hearts can grow narrow just when our hands become full. Before we count our share, help us first remember what we are to the people beside us. Help us trust that your promise stays the same even where we give way first, and keep the names that can bring us back together with those we have parted from. Amen.”
🕊 How to Use This in Ministry
Opening Question
Ask, “When you and a friend both wanted the same toy, what did you do?” Listen to the children’s answers (for example, grab it first, cry and say so, tell the teacher). Then say, “In the Bible today, there is a family that started quarreling because they had too many sheep and cows. Let’s find out together what Grandpa Abram said then,” and move into the passage.
Activity
First show the picture ‘There was strife between the herdsmen’ from today’s images and ask, “Why do you think they are arguing?” Read verse 6 together, “…their substance was great, so that they could not live together,” and check that the quarrel came from having too many animals. Next, show the picture ‘Isn’t the whole land before you?’ and read verses 8~9 slowly. On the board (or a large sheet of paper, if there is no board), write ‘We are ______.’ Ask, “To stop the quarrel, what did Abram tell Lot they were?” and have the children find the word ‘relatives’ in verse 8 (in some Bibles it says ‘brothers,’ ‘brethren,’ or ‘kinsmen’). Tell them, “In Hebrew, the language the Bible was first written in, this word is ‘brothers,’” and then have them write ‘brothers’ in the blank. Point out, “Lot was really Abram’s nephew, but Abram called Lot his brother.”
Application
Hand each child a small card and have them think of one person they often quarrel with over something these days (for example, a little brother or sister, a seatmate). On the card, have them write ‘We are ______’ and fill in the blank with what that person and they are to each other (for example, ‘We are one family,’ ‘We are classmates’). Tell them they do not have to show the card to anyone. Sum up by saying, “When the herdsmen were quarreling, Abram said ‘We are brothers’ before talking about who was wrong. Next time you feel a quarrel coming with that person, remember this card,” and let each child take the card home.
🖼️ Today’s Four Images · Press and hold or right-click to save
Abram went up out of Egypt |
There Abram called on Yahweh’s name |
Isn’t the whole land before you? |
There was strife between the herdsmen |
📄 Image license CC0 (public domain) · Free to use, modify, and redistribute without attribution.
🤖 These images were created with AI (Grok).
📖 Genesis Deeper ㊷ He Built an Altar There · the story of Abram entering the promised land and building altars at Shechem and east of Bethel
Origin Bible · Mission Zedero
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✍️ This article was written with the help of AI and reviewed by a person.
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